Then, because it was too early for the monorail to run, it was off to the bus stop (where they DO check your pass), to the light rail to the shuttle bus to the airport. Colleen and Jon were disappointed that their Alaska Airlines plane was actually a Horizon Airlines plane, although Horizon was partially forgiven because they had the best (440 calorie) donuts ever for snacks.
Portland's public transit system is called TriMet. For $4.25, you can ride the light rail, buses and street cars all day. You can't beat it. Plus, like Seattle, a big chunk of the downtown area is free. Also just like Seattle, no one ever checked tickets when Jon and Colleen were on the light rail.
Jon and Colleen took the light rail to a stop a few blocks from the Mark Spencer Hotel. It was too early for check-in and they didn't have a room for us anyway, but they did let us stow their bags and offered to take our bags to our room.
While waiting for the street car (which looked just like a bus so Colleen's not sure why the hotel clerk got so giddy when pointing it out to us), Jon was looking at the cartoon map and someone asked him directions. If there's a map involved, doesn't that mean the people holding it DON't know where they are going?
Jon and Colleen had some time before our Underground Tour, so they went to first the Ira
Keller Fountain (any relation to Aaron M?) and then walked along the waterfront. There a woman whose gaze Colleen held a little too long came over and asked if Jon and Colleen needed help finding anything. Didn't she see they had the cartoon map? At least she informed that the correct way to pronounce Willamette (rhymes with "jump on it"), so it wasn't all for naught. They got some waters at a convenience store and then took the light rail to a stop near the start of the tour. Still having time to kill, we stopped in some shops, including a place featuring a live guitar and a commentary on the economy. After a stop at the Oregon Ducks store, it was time for the tour. Alas, despite the AAA book's strict instructions on wearing jeans for the tour, everyone else (including our tour guide, Brad) was wearing shorts.Brad, just like Penny, is also an actor doing tours to make money. (Although Penny somehow had a full-time job that she could leave for three hours in the middle of the day in addition to the acting and tour stuff.) Despite its name, most of this Underground Tour was aboveground, although we did go in two basements and Brad showed us how they had supply tunnels back in the day and how it used to flood alot.
He also told us about Shanghaiing, where they would get guys drunk, act as their agents and ship them off to sea. He also told us how Chinatown doesn't really have 
any Chinese businesses any more because it's too expensive to do business there (and apparently anywhere - Jon and Colleen saw a LOT of empty storefronts) and took us to a place called Voodoo Donuts 
that can do weddings, so I hear. Brad did NOT tell us where he lives, so that must be something only Seattle tour guides do.After the tour, Jon and Colleen took the light rail back to the hotel for the free Tea & Cookies session. Sadly, there were only two Oreo cookies remaining at 5 p.m. (although there were vanilla wafers.) And nothing to drink besides tea! Granted, it's called Tea & Cookies, but what about some water? Or cocoa?
Jon and Colleen the took the light rail to PGE Park, home of the Portland Beavers, and, in 2011, the MLS soccer team the Portland Beavers. They're also still counting down to July's AAA All-Star game, which is ... 0 days away. (This being August 20 and all.) A co-worker had warned
Colleen that the park was huge but the enormity of it still blew her away. It was way too big for the smattering of fans who showed up wearing football jerseys. (Didn't get that memo.) And it was just about impossible to hear the PA announcer. Reading online, it appears a community group wants the Beavers to get a smaller, more intimate park, when the Beavers come to town, rather than use the facility for both teams. 
An usher yelled at Colleen for sitting on a dugout for a picture, even though a food server WALKED on the dugout the whole time. Hmmm...Highlights of the game included the fans on treadmills on the building in right field,
the race between Miller beer cans and a wise beyond his years kid named Taylor who sat behind Colleen and Jon. 
Taylor told his grandpa he could save 50 cents on beer if he went to the concession stand as opposed to waiting for the vendors to come to him. He also blew Colleen and Jon away with his knowledge of the stadium tunes, like "Power of Love." Oh, and an actual highlight? A pitcher
who could actually hit. (Taylor's not as talkative older brother caught on to that before Colleen did.) Sadly, the Beavers were up the whole game and ended up losing it in the 9th inning.After the game it was home to try to stay up and watch the season premiere of "Project Runway." (Both Jon and Colleen fell asleep before the loser was announced. Thank god for the show leadout, "The Models of the Runway," which revealed to us Ari had lost.)
Underground Tour: A-
Tea & Cookies: C-
Portland Beavers: B+
--POSTED BY COLLEEN
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